Dumbfound

I dream I dream alot sometimes while sleeping and sometimes in class but the feeling of dumbfounded is entirely different observation.But i am keeping all of them under same paradigm.You look at something and you start getting the feeling of admiration or may be sympathy or may be jealousy.Now above i have kept three different baskets where in one i get the feeling of admiration in other the wave of sympathy lets me to believe in there state and in another the vibes of others success envy's me.I will explain all of them from my perspective. Say for instance someone saw something really beautiful a normal person would admire it and move on for me it will be a fifteen minutes of thought process of providing my self with evidence that it really exists.I will fight with my inner self on believe that it is infront of me.And after those fifteen minutes it would lead to a whole day debate between me and me.This is the way admiration happens to me its just that the instances have been very limited but had a great impact on me.now lets get hold of another basket in which i find the most foolish and the most sensitive side of me.Normally a person believe in someone looking at the hard evidences and case study i believe in people like a mouse every time believes in himself when he sees a cube of cheese in a rat trap.My mind doesn't work when someone comes and ask for help it doesn't see pro's and cons it just does it and then it leads to a screwed me.But i am not guilty of the fact it does like that because that is how my upbringing happened and i feel proud to say that.With this jumping on the third basket i would say that this one is the evil part in me.I don't usually get trapped in it but when i do i really get trapped badly and it takes me down so down that i tend to lose something and again this has also happened in limitation but still has had a very negative impact on me.All these above divided instances have affected me alot in life some have been for good some have been for bad but i have to say without these instances may be my life would have been miserable.

Evacuated

This blog is completely ambitious to bring someone to the retrospect of how life used to be few years ago.The so called someone is none other then me myself. Today i was walking on an artery and i started thinking about what i had become in the last few years and what came crystal clear to me was that i had lost the cynosure of my life. I had started running towards flaky and counterproductive ideas and i found myself in a thwart wreck. And look at me now i am nothing but a cluster of daunting abashment. The essence of getting something takes you to a level where you forget about what made you take the route in the first place. I have been yet another undirected dart fatality, and i want myself to get back to what i used to be and what my motive used to be. And now it let me believe that some kind of doltish shadow had engulfed my ideas and my seldom in it. I want the engulfment of the daunting wreck to be removed in me and instead i want the expunge of the intellect which brought me to such a level and i am sure that i don't deserve such a dereliction. In simple words i want everything back i want to be what i used to be and how the way people used to hate me for what i was. I don't want the parachute of sweetness to control me and support me and i don't want restriction in anything what so ever. I want the way how people never got me. I want the love and affection i had for my play station, my comics and my toys. And i want to pledge that i will never let the corner filled with ardency never and ever take me again.

Days of old

These are some of my favorite historical events in order of my liking, and it goes like this:-



1.Govt of India Act coming into force( January 26,1950 )













2.The fall of Berlin wall( October 3,1990 )











3.Japanese invasion of Manchuria( September 19,1931 )

4.Pakistan Surrender in War( December 16,1971 )

5.Non-Cooperation movement( September 27,1920 )









6.Iranian Revolution( January 11,1978 )

7.State of Israel ( May 14,1948 )

8.Assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand ( June 28,1914 )

9.Treaty of Versailles ( June 28,1919 )

10.Treaty of Paris ( Sept 3,1783 )

White lad Part 1

It was summer of 2001 in the capital and heat had evaporated all the juice of a punk. He was enjoying the most  doleful vacation he ever saw and yet he had a smile on his face. May be it was his nature that made him like this or may be it was what he had become dew to the oppression of life on him. Young lad hadn't seen anything and already he had given up hopes of improvement. It hadn't been much time since he lost his best friend whom he admired and used to share all his backdoor thought which he would not even share with his own. It was the blend of his innocence his entrustment and his attachment that made him go through all this. He had lost his sister. He hadn't imagined that life sometimes could be so hard on people ,death was something he saw for the first time and wished for no more. It was 6 in the morning when his mother woke up and saw him reading a book, it wasn't a normal book it had the most annihilating and the most fallacious ideas a book could ever have and the book was Mein Kampf by adolf hitler. Now as soon as his mom saw that she took away the book from him and kept it somewhere away from his mastery. She was intrusive on the fact that how a boy of such a tender age get hold of such a book and what could have made him do such an animosity. Well it was his condition that made him take rest on ideologies such as those in the book. He had lost all faith in graciousness that he got deviled to do such a thing. Now this was also a proof of how innocent and young his mind was that the worst he could think was to read a book. But one thing was certain his state had open one door and that was the door of rebel. He had stopped doing whatever he was good at and he gave up whatever he knew. His life was majorly effected, his parents had started being called at school. He was involved in all activities that he wasn't known for. This offence wasn't even slightly tolerated by his parents and they had started visiting the idea of sending him to boarding school. Now even the boy had accepted that he had no choice then to give up and obey to parents request of sending him to shimla. Before all this could have happened a family shifted in front of his house and there he saw an angel stepping out. He kept looking at her for a while and he didn't have any idea what emotion he was going through but he felt that it was different from what he was experiencing in last few days. He went running to his mom and asked her too let him go out to play. It was for certain that the reason was not to go out to play it was the idea of magnifying her image. He went close to the boundary wall of her house and tried to catch her attention. Before he could have indulged in something out of the book she only introduced herself. They became good friends and it may have been her friendship that made him change his attitude. His parents saw improvement in him and gave themself's a chance of improving him even more to the state of actuality. And the young 11 year's old boy stayed back in Delhi to see more. 

  

Flashback

Flashback,what does it tell you or i should say what comes in your mind when you come across such an experience. Is it usually a good one or does it turn out to be a bad thought or it may even be both. Flashbacks are never build castle in the air actually they are the proof of our durable memory that we possess. We develop our memory through time and we test them through our recollection. Sometimes it is not easy to recollect and reminiscence on it and sometimes it comes to us without even asking for it. It does not depend on how much reinforced our memory is or our memory cells are. It depends on how that particular instance has affected us and how much importance it had to us. There may be an experience that affected you years ago which is really hard to relieve or there would be an instance that happened to you in the morning which even if you try for it is difficult to recollect. This is how flashbacks work with appropriate time and instance it hits you where it would effect you the most.

Now i am sure you guys must be thinking why i am all about flashbacks today. It is because i was going through  my past in albums and i figured out that i remember a lot of it. Starting from my dad celebrating my first b'day to the pics dad clicked before i left for Bangalore. Honestly i don't remember celebrating my first b'day but i remember the people in it. I could easily recollect all my friends whom i used to play with when i was a kid by kid i meant when i was 4-5 years old ,my mom was young and my dad was handsome still they are but even more young and handsome. I went through all my b'day pics of each year and i was easily able to remember the major part of it. And as i came close to my present i was thinking why all this happened ,why didn't it come to halt why wasn't i able to stop the time. This was all i asked before i turned the last page down.

It may be true that flashbacks are not always great they may even be dreadful. It all depends on how yo make it. If you want your past to be dark and unreminded for then i am sure you will be successful in it. But if you want your past to be fruitful and asking you to bring it back then you have to work upon it. And this is my personal advise that a smile does make it better. Atleast the pic comes out nice.........Above is my pic when i was 1 years old......Wish you guys a very happy new year and may the flashbacks of this year remind you of how great this year was.............   

My Hotbed

Well first of all i would like to broach that how much i have missed you my dear zebra crossing.It was very hard to be separated from you for 22 days and i pledge for the coming 38 days i will try to make it up to you.

Now whats my hotbed,it is where i would like to spend most of my time and where i am usually separated from my stretching thoughts.It is where i created my carnality for you,zebra crossing.Where my innocence saw myself advance to a level of acuity,and yes you guessed it right it's my house.I am back with all the bandages covering my wound and here they seek medicate.When i arrived in Delhi on the morning of 24th December 2011 at around 4 o'clock the only warmth that i got was the thought of being at home.Just imagine the thought was so powerful then how would actuality be.Not only the hug which i got from my family members did the trick it was also the look of my room that got a hint of smile and a drop of tear in my eye.I had never thought that being so far would take me through such a commotion.

When i entered the house it was not only my mom and my dad who were waiting for me it was also my little fellow gang member who hadn't slept through out the night just waiting for me.I had never thought that i made such an importance in anyone's life.And the feeling just makes me animated.I was served with a hot cup of tea as i had entered the house and that tea was the best i had in a while.I could just see there faces how much tired they were but still to show there affection they kept themselfs awake till i actually told them to sleep.I myself was tired but the stress had just vanished looking at there faces.My mother was already busy preparing the schedule of what i would like to eat.It was all perfect.

Then in the night we decided to go out to see the charm of christmas on delhi and knowing the fact that it was delhi's 100 b'day we had to step out.I planned to drive them to DLF mall ,and thank god for me that this time i didn't pull my car on the pathway and they were genuinely impressed by my driving skills.After that was all about shopping which i am not much interested to tell.And as i had expected it was wonderful and alluring as ever.Now the start to this wonderful continuance has been brilliant i expect more to come.........Above is the view of my house.............

Traumatized

Well finally i am able to catch a break and give a little attention to my zebra crossing .I feel now that zebra crossing was a very appropriate name for a guys blog whose progress in life has been slow ,by slow i mean was that he is always got whatever he wanted but with a little inertness and enormous amount of patience shown by him. Being a person who has seen hurdle at ever junction of life and tackled it by just standing in front of problem till it only gives itself up i have started thinking that when will the time come when i will get whatever i wanted without begging to god and asking him for mercy till he actually pity me .Anyways i think this was all my frustration coming out dew to the brilliance shown in the innovation of exam papers by my university .I have learnt to adapt myself with all kind of situations whether it may be the stage where life is like holding a dagger and asking my permission to stab me or it may be myself asking myself after every issue that whats the point .Till now whatever was my problem were indirectly concerning  my parents with whom i lived now i am left with the mercy of my own self  .I have to take decision on my own and i have to make myself ready for the consequences too .Though i am starting to loss the patience part of it as i can no longer take myself standing on my own zebra crossing..............................