White Lad Part 2

3 Years have past by and there he could feel no change,according to him nothing has changed in his life his adolescence has not changed a bit he remained in the same mental stage where his unrealistic believe in comics were at the same peak of honor as he used to keep earlier, though the surrounding has changed capital is not the same his neighbors aren't the same except for one,instead of the morning milk he used to get now he gets is a cup of tea. There are also some changes which he never noticed but came with age his lust for guitar had just attained a height from where it could never come back his choice of music had changed he had jumped his genre from rock pop to Ghazal. There were new things also making a mark in his life it would be his poetry reading that had just hit puberty(well that had to come it was in gens) he had started playing cricket on a regular basis with his new neighbor's and he had also started sort of liking it.And disliked changes brought upon him by time was that he had stopped reading books on a regular basis he had started engulfing him self in an invention called television which he still regrets the most.

Since last 3 years it had become a regular routine for him to wait in front of her house in the morning till she came out to catch her bus so that he could get her company to the bus stop even though his bus used to be half an hour later then hers.One morning she didn't come out of her house he kept waiting till he could the same day he went in the evening just to inquire about what made her not attend school today but what he saw was more shocking he saw a lock on the door.He presumed that she must have gone out,he still was pertaining to his regular routine he kept waiting for her for the next 20 days but she didn't come out.It had been 3 years since she had arrived in Delhi so no one knew her family better then he did it was almost useless to ask anyone about her.He had lost almost all hope except for one that if they would have shifted someone would have occupied there house.Which was true one fine day she came out and his face had become like a pink balloon from a normal white balloon he was.The first thing he asked her was about her family being absconding and the answer he got was just a silence the weird part was that she was not wearing her uniform which she had to wear to go to school.He asked her that too the answer again was lost in the disturbance of silence.that morning her pace was faster then the usual she normally used to talk along the way she used to ask about his work at school his previous day with his new friends but that day she didn't say anything.He tried to reduce the speed at which they were walking but didn't help at last at the half way mark he stopped and asked her the problem she looked at me with a dismal face and said that today she won't go to school he accepted it and asked her the problem she said she would never come to school from now onward.He had frozen and had started speculating an atomic bomb to be dropped soon at the very place he was standing.He managed himself and asked why?.The answer took time to reach its point but she said it and she said it.Since last 20 days she was in Canada and she had gone to look for a house with her family as she was about to shift there permanently she had come to India just for one day to give there house back and to do all legal stuff. He felt like he was struck with a Hugh rock and crushed beneath it. She said that she came out today to see him for the last time and before he would come back from school she would have left for the airport. And now the lamp of silence had just shifted from her side to his side. They kept moving till the bus stop came with the least conversation possible.That day he wanted his bus to come early he wasn't able to see her face and she was just looking at him waiting for something to come out but nothing came what came was the bus he boarded it and gave her the last good bye he ever gave her in person and she ran back.He kept looking at her from the bus till her image reduced and what he was left with now was her image in his mind. After the school he came back running to her house and she was right they had left..........

Dumbfound

I dream I dream alot sometimes while sleeping and sometimes in class but the feeling of dumbfounded is entirely different observation.But i am keeping all of them under same paradigm.You look at something and you start getting the feeling of admiration or may be sympathy or may be jealousy.Now above i have kept three different baskets where in one i get the feeling of admiration in other the wave of sympathy lets me to believe in there state and in another the vibes of others success envy's me.I will explain all of them from my perspective. Say for instance someone saw something really beautiful a normal person would admire it and move on for me it will be a fifteen minutes of thought process of providing my self with evidence that it really exists.I will fight with my inner self on believe that it is infront of me.And after those fifteen minutes it would lead to a whole day debate between me and me.This is the way admiration happens to me its just that the instances have been very limited but had a great impact on me.now lets get hold of another basket in which i find the most foolish and the most sensitive side of me.Normally a person believe in someone looking at the hard evidences and case study i believe in people like a mouse every time believes in himself when he sees a cube of cheese in a rat trap.My mind doesn't work when someone comes and ask for help it doesn't see pro's and cons it just does it and then it leads to a screwed me.But i am not guilty of the fact it does like that because that is how my upbringing happened and i feel proud to say that.With this jumping on the third basket i would say that this one is the evil part in me.I don't usually get trapped in it but when i do i really get trapped badly and it takes me down so down that i tend to lose something and again this has also happened in limitation but still has had a very negative impact on me.All these above divided instances have affected me alot in life some have been for good some have been for bad but i have to say without these instances may be my life would have been miserable.

Evacuated

This blog is completely ambitious to bring someone to the retrospect of how life used to be few years ago.The so called someone is none other then me myself. Today i was walking on an artery and i started thinking about what i had become in the last few years and what came crystal clear to me was that i had lost the cynosure of my life. I had started running towards flaky and counterproductive ideas and i found myself in a thwart wreck. And look at me now i am nothing but a cluster of daunting abashment. The essence of getting something takes you to a level where you forget about what made you take the route in the first place. I have been yet another undirected dart fatality, and i want myself to get back to what i used to be and what my motive used to be. And now it let me believe that some kind of doltish shadow had engulfed my ideas and my seldom in it. I want the engulfment of the daunting wreck to be removed in me and instead i want the expunge of the intellect which brought me to such a level and i am sure that i don't deserve such a dereliction. In simple words i want everything back i want to be what i used to be and how the way people used to hate me for what i was. I don't want the parachute of sweetness to control me and support me and i don't want restriction in anything what so ever. I want the way how people never got me. I want the love and affection i had for my play station, my comics and my toys. And i want to pledge that i will never let the corner filled with ardency never and ever take me again.